As parents, we are very quick to self sacrifice for the sake of our families. In my single years, I was a college student. I went to yoga twice a week and had meditation group on Thursdays. My husband was a passionate online gamer. These facts remained true until we had our first child. Suddenly, we didn’t have the money or the time to do anything. Of course, we had the shows we watched together. We had a deck of cards. I can even remember one New Year’s Eve being completely thrilled just to play Wii Sports and eat frozen hors devours.
It’s not that we didn’t do anything. We just didn’t do anything apart. When you have no money, how can you do say, watch the kids, I’m going out? As time passed, we met young families like ours and Will landed a better job. I began to mentally negotiate. I can go to the Asian Market. I’ll take the kids and that will give Will a break. Man, I need to get out of this house. We’ll go the library, the park and then out to lunch so the kids can have a good time too. I tried to be as efficient as possible in my outings. The one thing I did do for myself was write and even then, I was constantly being interrupted by Will and the kids.
I wasn’t sure if I actually deserved time to myself but it was becoming more and more apparent that I needed it. I was a mess. I was run down. I was angry. I had wanted to set up a monthly dinner party between our friends but what would we do with the kids? Sure we could hire the girls next door but 2 teenage girls wrangling 8 preschoolers seemed like a nightmare waiting to happen. I’ve heard of people using a sitting rotation. Couples take turns watching each others kids’ and going out. This sounds amazing but when you have 4 thoroughly exhausted couples, where do you start I’ll add that the closest family we have is 5 hours away. “Go grab a coffee.” Will advised on several occasions. Sitting alone in a coffee shop with no one to talk to while sipping a $4 cup of coffee? No thank you. I’ll take my peace in the bathtub, with Pandora and a glass of wine.
Only that wasn’t cutting it anymore. I wanted the old me back. I wanted to go back to school and take up yoga again. Surely, I wouldn’t have to wait for kindergarten to reclaim my sanity. I did some research and found a yoga studio local to us. It turned out to be a wellness center with a spa, a gym, 60 exercise classes, cooking classes and child care. Good child care. Certified child care with a computer lab, a sports court and an activity center. I could feel good about this and it was within our budget. Ironically, by me doing what I love to do, Will is now able to do what he loves to do. Father’s Day is on Sunday. I plan to pick up 2 new Xbox games and let him veg out. He deserves it and so do I.